The Stages Of Grief And What You Need To Do

I am not Gone.
I am not gone.
I remain here beside you.
Just in a different form.
Look for me in your heart.
And there you will find me in our love which forever lives on.
In those moments when you feel alone.
Look for me in your thoughts. And there you will find me in sweet memories that burn strong.
Every time a tear Forms in your beautiful eyes Look up to the heavens And there you will see me.
Smiling down from God’s glorious skies

– Injete Chesoni


1. DENIAL:
Physical Symptoms:
– Sweating, Weakness, faintness, nausea, palpitations, shock
– Being Emotionally overwhelmed.
– Not being able to deal with the reality of death.
– Withdrawal syndrome.
– A dreamy feeling

These are various ways that God and your body begin the process of sorting you out at various individual comfort levels. So what do you do at this stage? It helps to talk about one’s thoughts and feelings. Those who are grieving have been deeply hurt by their loss. They need the opportunity to heal, to be taken care of. You can help by encouraging them to talk openly about their grief, to talk about the circumstances surrounding the death of their loved one.

Encourage them to share the relationship they enjoyed with their loved one, let them talk about what made that person different, why they loved him or her. Let them freely speak from the heart. Let them share their feelings regarding the loss they’ve suffered and the loneliness they are experiencing. At distressing times like these, the support of friends and loving family is invaluable.

“A friend loves at all times” and “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”

Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity


2. ANGER
Once the denial stage begins to wear off, we naturally begin to look for who and what to blame for our loss grief and pain. We may begin to display irrational anger towards ourselves, the deceased, the government, the timing of the death, authority figures, the doctor or hospital staff, some family members or even God.
We may begin to question why God did not prevent the death. Sometime this anger leads to feelings of guilt. Its critical not to let your anger lead to negative behavioural even linger on for too long. Ones you do it may graduate into resentment, rage unforgiveness etc.

Remember that God says, “Be angry, and yet do not sin”. Ephesians 4:26 – Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath

3. NEGOTIATION & TRANSITION
At this stage some expect God to return things to normal, just the way they used to be.
Those grieving often begin their pursuit of deeper understanding of the death of their loved one. This is a normal part of the healing process. Coming to terms with and accepting death itself. It is through acceptance of the reality of death that we can transition from grief and pain to hope and positive action. At this point it is critical to develop a intimate and personal relationship with the Almighty God, pray daily and read His word for comfort, understanding and better insight of God’s plans. At this stage it is very Critical to note that God doesn’t want anyone to be overcome with sorrow and be without hope.

“Cast all your care upon God, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 )


4. WITHDRAWAL & DEPRESSION
At this stage Reality begins to eventually sets in. We suddenly faced the reality of going on with life without our loved one. This can be the most difficult stage for many. Guilt sets in.

Signs to look out for:
Unconcern about the outside world; loss of interest in eating and sleeping; Feelings of guilt, helplessness, hopelessness and a sense of worthlessness.
During this stage we Must hold onto the positive aspects of the life we shared with our loved one. It is also Critical that we know that we are not alone in our grief; God is still with us, even in times of mourning.
God said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’

Keep saying this to yourself “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear”

5. SURRENDER & ACCEPTANCE:
Eventually, as we deal with our grief, we surrender and accept that we are beginning a new phase in our life. Our realities begins to change, we adjust to our new situation. We feel stronger, become deeper and better for having faced and endured this great trial.
Our Emotional balance returns howbeit slowly but gradually.

You begin to Arise, Shine and Smile again.

6. ITS TIME TO MOVE ON
Time is one of the greatest healers. This is especially true in the case of grief, loss and pain.
You realize that:
As gloomy as life may be after the death of a love one the moment will pass away and the joy of life will return.
A deeper Knowledge and Understanding of God, His great purpose and hope of the future, gives us strength to overcome grief, loss and pain.
We Must hold tightly to His Word and Promise

Revelation 21:4
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed.

Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.
– Anonymous


http://www.olca.com.ng

Lanre Olusola Is Nigeria's Foremost Peak Performance Catalyst and Life, Mind and Health Coach Lanre brings years of extensive study spanning the fields of Engineering, Performance Improvement Management, Theology, Science, Human Behavioural Psychology, Governance, Organizational Design, Business Transformations and MetaMedicine. He is an alumnus of the world-renowned Harvard Business School, Boston Massachusetts USA, An ASET, U.K certified Life coach. He Graduated as a Performance Coach from Europe's Number one Coaching institution; The Coaching Academy, U.K His Advanced studies in Psychology, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Quantum Physics, Led him to become an AAMET U.K. Certified Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Wellness Coach and Therapist. Lanre Olusola is respected Nationally and Internationally for imparting exceptional problem solving, motivational, inspirational, human developmental, leadership and management skills. He has worked extensively with the UK Government through the Department for International Development (DFID), and the Nigerian Government, Various State Governments and Government agencies, and other International Donor Organizations such as The World Bank, and the British Council etc. He is Simply Called "The Chief Catalyst". The Olusola Lanre Trauma Clinic for Dana crash victims' family, friends, colleagues, spouses - we need sponsors. Victims should email enquiry@olca.com.ng. Also text or call 08077077000, 08033951460 +2348055103850

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...